The not-so-big failure in ma life

In these past few days I thought a lot about what to write next. And I still was not able to decide until an hour earlier when i decided that I will deal with all the aspects of my life one by one.

Many topics (some weird such as 10 easiest ways to commit suicide, my pathetic love stories where I have been the supporting hero rather than the main hero) came across my mind but then I thought that you ought to know me better to feel the way I have been feeling these past few days. And I have been feeling such because of a heart-break and a break up !!!!

yes !!! I have been dumped by ma sweetheart !!!

I have been told that I am not suitable to be with her and that I need to improve my "interview skills" to be with her. It has been exactly a week today when i was told so. But the problem I have felt after such an incident is that I have spent the last week in a even more normal way than my normal life. I should be devastated and I did feel that but only for a day. I was back to normal because of my friends who did not leave me alone enough to feel devastated. I really do not know if I should be thankful to my friends for this or if i should scold them for not letting me feel devastated :) I guess being thankful to them is the correct thing since whenever I am alone it hurts like hell and when I am with my friends I tend to forget that there's any worry in this world.

ohk !!! So u are still stuck with the "interview skills" written in bold !!! I am so sorry. I guess I should help you with that. Take a guess. NO! It is not a lady boss and a NO again, it is not a gay boss. And yes, I have got a job so am not looking for a job anymore where I have to compromise my preferences (had a lot of gay guys hitting on me when i was looking for a job).

I am talking about IIMC or Indian Institute of Management Calcutta(had to write the full form or else I would have people asking me for it. I have met educated fools who did not know what it was and asked me if it was a medical school or an engineering college).

YES !!! You read it right this time. IIMC is ma sweetheart or rather I should say "was" ma sweetheart till a week ago when she dumped me!!! I could not clear the interview round of the institute and was denied that coveted seat for which more than 2.5 lacs people appeared this year. My affair started with her in the month of March when the list for the interview round was declared. My CAT registration number figured in the list and I was out of the world when I was rudely reminded by my pessimistic side that it is only the first round and that I need to clear an even tougher round against the best talents from all across the country. I was expecting a proposal from her sisters(BLAKI) as well but they made me realize that I am not the perfect guy which I used to believe myself to be!!! I realized that since I had very average looks(read marks) and no style( read extra-curriculars) I would not be able to get a proposal from all the sisters(BLAKI). And, so started my affair with IIMC. I fell head over heals in love with her and tried all possible ways to woo her but I guess that was not enough. She was looking for a much better person and I was left with all the analyzing to do !!!

If you have had the patience to read this much I am sure you will not kill me if I made this post long by mentioning the details about mah "first date" (interview) with her. I had waited for this moment and rehearsed for it in my mind at least a hundred times even before the date and time for the occasion was fixed. I was as excited as a boy going for a first date the first time in his life!!! Finally, the day arrived !!! On a beautiful tuesday morning I was called for the date and I was present there. I was told to go and have a work-ex (am a fresher) and then come back!!! I was told that I would be"much more welcome then!!" (WTF??) I still believed that I was being tested for commitment from my side and that it should not be a problem but little did I realize that it would turn out to be the deciding factor!!! I was dumped by ma sweetheart !!!

I have been feeling pain since then and I am not even sure if I would be able to get over it soon!!! But the only thing I am sure is that I am in LOVE and I will do anything and everything possible to win her back. Just wish me luck that SHE gets committed to me the next time I have a date with her !!!

why i started writing ??

After i wrote the title i realised that this actually will be my first post as a blogger. yipee !!!

I wanted to start this a lot earlier but sometimes I did not have time (yes, at times I am quite busy ... no kddng) and sometimes I did not have the willpower to type on the computer endlessly (yes, i am a comp science engineer and i hate typing, so what ?? ). But ultimately yesterday i decided to start writing.

Actually, I had postponed this occasion to celebrate something in my life - no, you guessed it wrong, it is not ma girlfriends birthday (dnt have a girlfriend, so thts not possible). Okay, stop guessing!! I will tell ya. I had postponed it till when i get my results for IIMC. Yes, I cracked CAT this time, got selected for its GD/PI round and had thought to start writing when i convert the call. You guessed it wrong again - I did not get selected but i thought what the heck !!! I have wanted this since a long time and i will start writing this time without any excuses. So, here I am but I have a lot many more reasons which I would like to share with you all.

1. The first and foremost reason is that I have nothing to do. (yes, you read it right) I have nothing to do and I guess that's not a sin in this country. So, I thought why not rather than a why which would have been difficult to answer for me. I have got a laptop and a wi-fi net connection so resources is not a problem. Nothing to do implies ample time which (as my father says) should be utilised. I thought what better way to utilise time other than this ( or am i wrng ??) :(

2. The second reason I thought of this was because I had no-one to talk to. (yes, you again read it right). I dont know why I am this way but I have been like this ever since i remember. I am the problem-solver for my friends be it emotional, academic or even monetary but I have never been able to ask for help. I did try but every time i tried to talk to my friends about my problems everyone started talking about their own problem and asked me for help. Being the ever-helping friend how could i deny any request from their side. None of my friends consider me as a human who could have problems. They assume that if i can solve their problem, i can take care of my problems. I thought maybe here I could have some advice from people who have seen it all and done it all.

3. The third reason I started this was because I could talk rubbish and no one would say a word. Now, thats a good reason considering that half the time I talk rubbish and the other half I dont speak at all. So, thts a good enough reason for me.

And i guess three reasons are more than enough to allow myself the privilege of writing a blog. Actually, I had 2 more good reasons but am forgetting it rite now so will add them later as and when i remember. That's it for today but I will be back and very soon i hope. bbye. cya !!!

P.S. - I actually liked writing the post. will surely be back !!!